Welcome to The Simpsons Quotes!
Welcome to the ultimate collection of Simpsons Quotes. Browse by character and theme and be sure to vote for your favorite Simpsons Quotes!
We now have over 504 Quotes!
Top Rated Quotes
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Quote Rating:
9.1 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Are we missing your favorite quote? Submit a quote to us!
